He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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