Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
