Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
