I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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