after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
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I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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