I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
