i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
