i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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