Quick, to the slutcave!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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