If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
