What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
