i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
