we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
