dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
