I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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