How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
