I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
