I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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