i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
