Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize