he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize