I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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