Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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