I'm jealous of your bromance
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
