Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize