i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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