Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
