there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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