Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
