is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
