I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
be right there i have to get my cape
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize