Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
