R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
