Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
