No stitches, just platelets and will power
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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