Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
