you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
