i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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