Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
