She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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