I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
