I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
