I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
