think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
