if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
