4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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