tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
