I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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