i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
