i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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