I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
