last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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