I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
