my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
