I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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