had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
