I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize