Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize