Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Acid is not a monday night drug
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
