She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
