wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
